I've been thinking a lot about solitude, freedom, and self-reliance lately. Seth and I have been trying hard to get out of debt and follow the advice of getting a good food storage base and overall being better prepared for life and all it's twists and turns. I underestimated the task of getting to a point where we can feel secure, self reliant, and free of the feeling like we are under someone's thumb. Every day is a juggling act of fitting in an 8 hour work day, playing with and teaching Evie, trying not to be over run with housework (dream on, right?), finishing the landscaping, cooking at least 2 meals, finishing up my thesis revisions, balancing a budget, trying to pay bills on time, and trying to stay on top of outside the home church and social activities. That's not even touching all the projects Seth is working on. Between the two of us, I feel like we are lucky when we get a shower that's longer than 5 minutes. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my life and I'm not complaining. But its times like these I think back on the lifestyles I caught a gimps of when I visited Scandinavia.
The picture you see above is of a house in Iceland sitting alone surrounded by land and water. As incredible and alien as it seems to me, I saw many solitary homes like this in Norway and Sweden. I remember wondering why anyone would want to live like that? No neighbors, no convenient grocery store, no mall or movie theater, plus, I would be really surprised if they had internet or cell phone access. I wondered how they survived. How would you eat, drink safe water, have electricity? But mainly wondered how these people, living in their basic homes, hours from any city, keep any sort of emotional or social sanity? When I was 13 I looked at that lifestyle and thought that people living that way must be crazy. At 25 I wonder how I can stop being crazy and live like they do. These people would probably look at my life and wonder how anyone could live being absorbed in an artificial society made up of social networks and expensive pieces of paper that are supposed to tell the world that the holder is intelligent, valuable, and has their lives figured out. So far, I have collected 4 of these pieces of paper and more email, blog, and social network account than I can count and I'll be the first to admit that they do nothing for my search for peace and happiness in life, I mean REAL life.
I don't feel freer, more secure, or dare I say, happier, with my social networks, school loan debt, outrageous utility bill, or the HOA that dictates how much grass I have in my front yard. Not a day goes by where I don't worry about my 2 year old being harmed by those belonging to our "advanced" and "civilized" society. I think I would like living in that lone house surrounded by only land and water. I think I would like knowing that my food came out of my garden or from my animals that I saw grow without government or institutional regulations. I think I would like knowing that I could put an airstrip in my front yard and no one care. Maybe one day this dream of going insane with freedom and self-reliance will come true. One can dream...
2 comments:
I actually dream about the same thing. And on my dream-board I have a similar picture to your Iceland photo. Mine is of a small cottage on a cliff overlooking the sea in Ireland. It's a gorgeous location, but the home is nothing to brag about. There are some sheep outside, not corralled by a pen. I labeled it "second home", but in reality I'd be perfectly fine moving there and making it my primary home. En lieu of that "dream", I have more "realistic" goals of buying a house here out in the country, on a small piece of water, and escaping the city life. Which...if you visited here, you'd prob laugh b/c this isn't like some booming metropolis or anything but it's noisy and I want out. All I want to hear are geese calling in the morning, and the wind rustling through tall grasses. :) You will make it where you want to be, Micki. Don't limit yourself by impatience. You're so young; there is plenty of time.
Thanks, Lindsey. I love hearing that we have such similar dreams even though many of our other worldviews are so different. :) I guess that just goes to show how everyone just wants their own bit of serenity and personal paradise.
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